So, i've been trying, REALLY trying to lose weight since the beginning of January. I wouldn't be so worried about it if i could just wear a dress everyday (I'm pearshaped and a full skirted dress covers a multitude of sins) but winter, mean and cold-hearted winter, is making me wear pants. and my equally mean pants are not fitting. really not wanting to go up a size and buy new pants...made me decide to lose weight.
And i've been doing pretty well with my weight loss plan... until this weekend; when i went out to eat with friends, had popcorn at sherlock holmes (we had a free coupon, come on!) and gave myself a free day.
let's just say that when i stepped on the scale this morning, i did NOT want to do this:
i had kindof obliterated all my hard work.
i was crushed. i wanted to just crawl back into bed and cry for a long time.
i called my friend sc, who also happens to be my husband. after "you look beautiful" and "you're NOT fat" weren't working, he said, "This is not who you ARE, you know that. This is not what you take your worth from."
ok. argh. fine. journal for a long time. come to terms with it.
i've jumped into a world this past year that i had since not known, every day i see girls on blogs with perfect bodies, perfect clothes, . and i start to compare. my grandmother always said, "comparisons are odious." they're pointless. They don't help us.
as much as i love fashion and decorating and the idea of being thin, i can't make those ideas control how i feel about WHO I AM.
so today, i'm getting back in the saddle. i will eat healthier and exercise today. i'm not giving up. But what i am giving up on is the need to be perfect AND defining who i am by the numbers on a scale.
i want to be someone who cares more about things like people in haiti not having any homes, and being kind to other humans than i do about how my body looks. Speaking of Haiti, a great blogger named Fab did a wonderful post on Haiti, her home for 16 years, you can read it here
i would also love to hear your thoughts/feelings on this weight issue
thanks for reading,