Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The story of Asher


oh my, its been a whirlwind since i last wrote. I can hardly believe what i am about to tell you. i am still processing it. 

saying goodbye to Emerson left us unimaginably broken-hearted, but day by day small healing began with God's help. Steve and i reacted so differently to losing Emerson. Steve was immediately ready to be a parent again, because he realized how much he loved being a dad. at first, i felt as though i would never love again. but slowly i began to realize that i did really want to be a mom again, and soon. 

On Thursday march 8th, after many good but difficult talks, Steve and I felt peace about the decision to put our names back in the pool at the adoption agency that we are working with. Though we were still in pain, we felt we were also the same people who wanted to adopt, and are so ready to love a child. 

Exactly two weeks after we joined the pool, on thursday march 22nd, i received a phone call from our social worker. when i saw her name pop up on my phone, i quickly ignored the call. i just KNEW that she had a little baby for me, and i was terrified (sorry tracy:). she texted me, and said "call me, maria" I called her back and she said,  "maria, there is a little baby boy in florida who is 2 weeks old, BOTH his parents have signed consent and we wanted to know if you are interested. my hands are shaking." my mind blew up a little bit. 

It is extremely rare that both parents consent, and this is exactly what we had been praying for. 
i called steve, who immediately said, "I'm in!" 
i couldn't believe how soon after Emerson this opportunity came and i wasn't quite sure i was ready, but i felt we could at least be ONE of the many profiles that the birth mom looked at and if God felt we weren't ready for the little guy then he would help the birth mom decide "no."

the next monday we learned that the birthmom wanted to speak with us on the phone. we had an incredible talk with her that night in which she told us she wanted us to adopt her boy. 

The next day, Tuesday, we hurriedly packed, did a bunch of paperwork, and drove the 19 hours to florida! (straight through, with the special adrenaline only felt by parents trying to get to meet their child for the first time :)
On wednesday at about 3 pm, we signed some paperwork with a lawyer and were granted custody.  Then, we got to meet our son. he is beautiful (as you can see).  His birthmom wanted to be there to give him to us, so we got to meet her and get to know her a little bit.  

His birth mom had named him michael, which we changed to the middle name. His full name is Asher Michael Huxley Casteel. Asher means "happiness, blessed and fortunate" which could not more perfectly describe  how we feel to get to be parents to this little boy. 

We will never forget little emerson and his place in our heart cannot be taken, but he was not able to be ours. And thankfully God made our hearts to hold love for so many people at a time :) We are so happy to be bonding with Asher and knowing that he will be in our family forever. he is beyond precious.

life with Asher is wonderful. we are thankful every single second for this little miracle. he is SUCH a happy boy. full of smiles at such a young age. 









images by jeremy parsons of we are the parsons

(don't judge my ugly outfit and hair, these were taken right when we brought asher home and i had been riding in the car for a VERY long time :)

a few incredible facts: 

--at first we toyed with the idea of waiting one month before getting back on the list at the agency, it seemed like a logical amount of time. but had we done that, we would not have gotten asher. 

--in my family "5ths" are really special. my parents anniversary is february 5th, my birthday is april 5th, my dad's birthday is may 5th. apparently my mom told my sister about ten years ago, "maria needs to have a baby on march 5th to complete our 5ths". March 5th is asher's birthday. 

--we had emerson with us at the ash wednesday service, i sat there feeling as if i was giving up my SON for lent. Asher was there with us on Easter. what redemption! ( i don't mean that to sound as if asher is a replacement (for you cannot replace one human with another), but rather a great gift, after great loss)

--we had to stay in florida for awhile for interstate paperwork to clear. this caused us to arrive home on my birthday. i finally brought my son home, for good. the best birthday present ever.

--asher's birth mom chose a family in kansas city because she had already placed a son into an adoptive family in Kansas city. we  already know the mom of Asher's biological half brother. they will grow up being friends and knowing they are brothers. 




thank you for ALL of your kind comments. i can't tell you what they mean. 
i can't wait to share Asher's life with you...mixed in with a bunch of vintage of course. 


oh, and this is more the factual account of asher, i want to share the emotional journey more later :). you know me. 

love, 
m


28 comments:

  1. so happy for you! it sounds as if it couldn't be a more perfect fit, and your writing about your whole experience has been really lovely and moving. thanks so much for sharing.

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  2. oh Maria, i am so thrilled for you. He is ADORABLE! I cant wait to watch him grow!

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  3. Ohhh, I'm so beyond happy for you Maria!! He is such an adorable little boy! I love seeing his smiles in all your photos, he just looks so happy. I can't wait to see more photos and to hear more about your raising your precious little boy.

    xo,
    Em

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  4. Oh my gosh! Asher is darling! Congratulations!

    xx, C

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  5. What a doll baby! I'm so happy for the three of you. :)

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  6. maria, you always make me cry. i am so happy for you three. he is BEAUTIFUL. God is so good - I am bawling over the fact that he has a brother in your hometown that you KNOW already. Amazing. This is so perfect - God is so, so, so good.

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  7. So pleased for all of you and wishing you much happiness in the years ahead.x

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  8. Yay! I am so happy for you! What a beautiful little guy!! Congratulations! :)

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  9. I'm so happy for you! What a fantastical wonderful turn of events- a blessing.

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  10. So happy for you!!! Big hugs and congratulations :) He's absolutely precious!

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  11. Congratulations! What a blessing! He is so cute!

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  12. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. {the sound of my heart bursting} i love this story more every time i read it. and the photos?! get out of here. perfect.

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  13. SUCH WONDERFUL NEWS! So happy for you and the whole little happy family. Sniff.
    Marie @
    Lemondrop ViNtAge

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  14. What a wonderful & loving God we serve! His plan is always perfect, not always easy though! I am soooooo happy for the both of you!! What a true blessing! I can't wait to read more! =) Feel a great big hug from me Eve! =)

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  15. What a wonderful & loving God we serve! His plan is always perfect, not always easy though! I am soooooo happy for the both of you!! What a true blessing! I can't wait to read more! =) Feel a great big hug from me Eve! =)

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  16. Congratulations on your beautiful Son. I know how much joy my Son brings to my life and I'm filled with excitement for your little family xx

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  17. WOW, what amazing news!!! i can't believe how much you two have been through and am tearing up - what a blessing!! CONGRATULATIONS - he is beautiful and looks so HAPPY and you two look so happy and i feel so happy for you guys, what a beautiful story. xoxo

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  18. Wow! I knew some of that but REALLY, how cool is GOD? He obviously has guided each moment of this journey. Love you and can't wait to see him soon!

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  19. The first time I came to your blog was with your preious article and I suscribed just because I knew you would have soon a totally different love story to tell. Congratulations! Asher just found amazing parents full of love.

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  20. I had been following your progress on Instagram and I am so very happy for you! As heartbreaking as it was to not be able to make a home with Emerson it just wasn't meant to be with him and now… you have beautiful Asher! He is one very lucky boy to have found such a loving home with you both.

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  21. Reading your story and looking at these photos made me so teary-eyed. Asher is a BEAUTIFUL little boy and the three of you deserve all the happiness in the world. Congratulations!

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  22. Reading this made me cry. Congratulations on the addition to the family :)

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  23. love that you wrote this down. and i love this pictures. you look hott.

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  24. No kidding he is a happy boy! He is smiling with his whole body in that last photo! I can't wait to meet him later this year. Great big hugs and kisses to the three of you. XO-Duff

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  25. This is an amazing story! I am so happy for you all -- truly a miracle. Best wishes to you all!

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  26. Babies are SUCH an amazing gift, I love this post Maria, and so happy to hear that you've found the little one meant for you to mother. :) You have MOUNTAINS of joy ahead of you, new mama. I hope to see more pics in the future as this adorable little boy grows. Loooove your pics -- that last photo, oh my goodness - what a happy baby! how cuuuute!!

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  27. I am so happy for you all!!! This is so amazing after what you've been through. I am so happy that you have a child that you've dreamed of. Things sometimes work out in the strangest ways and I am glad he'll have a half brother to grow up with :)

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  28. sitting here blubbering with happiness that you and steve got your happy ending after all. congratulations and much happiness to your little family! xoxo

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