the big 2 9 .

My 29th birthday was on the 5th. Steve took the whole afternoon off and gave me the gift of alone time. He took care of asher told me to go do whatever i wanted all by myself...and it was lovely.
I went to an antique market, a secondhand clothing store, a coffee shop, and a flower shop where i bought myself some lovely flowers.

that evening was a bit unorthodox. While we had a fancy dinner planned, the more i thought about it, i realized that what i really wanted was help cleaning our room. i am VERY domestically challenged and i just work better with a friend. so we grabbed a quick dinner and then steve rolled up his sleeves and dug into the pile of clothes that is our bedroom floor. He cheerfully helped me hang my vintage dresses, match socks, put away laundry, take moldy forgotten coffees to the kitchen...etc, etc. It was really fun actually.

aren't those buttons lovely?

on sunday i took a long bath, painted my toenails and put on this wonderful dress from Wildfell Hall for church. This dress was my birthday treat from myself. i fall for a lace print, every. time.

a few things i learned this year:

-"its better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all" -Tennyson.
i lost emerson, but i'm so glad that i loved him with all my might while i had him. i want to keep an open heart and not have a hardened one.

- i learned how to make really good french bread. ok, maybe i only did it once, but it was wonderful and hopefully not a fluke.

-- "when parents let their ambitions, housework, or hobbies become a higher priority than parenting, and they begin to view their children as annoying interruptions. This attitude guarantees failure, frustration, and anger. only by reordering priorities and recongizing that parenting is a highly demanding job will there be any hope for decent results and the absence of frustration." --raising Godly tomatoes. .....Asher is not an annoyance...He is a little life, a little person who needs molding and shaping. and i only get one chance with him. loving him and spending time with him (where i am really present) is more important than a perfect home, or a great vintage shop.

--being an introvert mom can be really scary. I tried to do life all by myself for the first 6 months of asher's life. then my face hit concrete. turns out we can't do life alone. i need friends, i need other moms, i need help. i learned (and am still learning) to reach out. and to tell people my struggles.

--i don't want to care what people think, or be a people pleaser anymore. its dumb. i want to please God.

--i can basically do everything one handed. with a little boy on one hip.

--i really really like my job.

--Brussels sprouts can taste like candy.

thanks for reading, seriously.

m